Tag Archives: coping with loss

Quilto (Arabian Stallion)

10 Aug

Quilto (Arabian Stallion)

This blog is dedicated in loving memory of my familiar spirits. These Animal Angels have been my best friends, my protectors, my teachers, my dogs, my heart.  Teaching me the values & ethics no people ever had (save my grandmother). They taught me to know love, loyalty, devotion, courage and heart.  To know them with out limits and to have them with out condition. I would not be the person that I am today had not been blessed with those tremendous spirits.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel you by my side

and you will always SHINE INSIDE!

Quilto was my grandfathers horse and his pride and joy. When my grandpa broke his hip he had to stop working with the horses so Quilto became somewhat wild. When my grandpa passed away a few years later I began caring for Quilto. Being a stallion he had an unlimited reserve of testosterone and a very wary opinion of anyone approaching him. The first time I got into the ring with him he charged me & I charged him without hesitation he stopped stomped and snorted a few times then walked away. I had earned his respect and over the next few weeks I earned his trust and friendship. It wasn’t long before he would follow me like a puppy always hanging over my shoulder and nudging me with his nose for affection and treats. We would play a game where I would take off running across the paddock through the door to the other end of the stable and he would chase me till he had me cornered. Then I would turn towards him charging at me he would skid to a stop and I would stomp my feet and throw my arms up. He would rear up snorting and stomping his front hooves on the ground then he would gently walk up and give me a kiss and I would give him a carrot. One day after a rain we were playing this game and I slipped in the mud getting a slow start so when we went through the doorway he was only couple feet behind me. I slipped in the mud at the doorway where there was only room for one to pass and hit the ground. I was sure I would get trampled. But I didn’t and when I looked up I saw Quilto on the ground. He had thrown himself to the ground to keep from stepping on me. Quilto was a stallion and he had a stallions ego and pride but he had a gentle soul as kind and loving as I have ever known. Quilto passed away at age 34 of Colic. I spent a week while he was sick staying up all night with him getting 2 maybe 3 hours of sleep before I would have someone waking me up with those dreaded words Quilto is down again.  We finally had to put him down he was suffering so much it broke my heart when he passed away. Even today I question my decision  every choice was made with his best interest at heart and still I will always feel regret for it.

Notsuredomus

Patton (Golden Retriever)

10 Aug

Patton (Golden Retriever)

This blog is dedicated in loving memory of my familiar spirits. These Animal Angels have been my best friends, my protectors, my teachers, my dogs, my heart.  Teaching me the values & ethics no people ever had (save my grandmother). They taught me to know love, loyalty, devotion, courage and heart.  To know them with out limits and to have them with out condition. I would not be the person that I am today had not been blessed with those tremendous spirits.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel you by my side

and you will always SHINE INSIDE!

Patton was a Golden Retriever my brother rescued. When he and his wife had a baby she was concerned about having a large dog around an infant (not a dog person). Jeff (my brother) came to my place in Green Valley Lake, high in the San Bernardino National Forest and asked if I could take him. He was already a senior and I was hesitant to take Patton because of my mobile lifestyle and his age but I did anyways. I am so glad I did. Patton unlike Shila was very dependent on me but I didn’t mind. I found myself always feeling the need to get home to my boy. He would sit waiting for me. Mostly blind his head would pop up every time a car or person would approach awaiting my homecoming. When I would see him I would call to him at which time he would get up and run to greet me, his tail wagging so hard his whole body would wiggle. He would defend me at the drop of a hat and though he needed much more attention than most dogs might. I have never felt so loved as I did while Patton was alive. He passed away at 17yrs of age and I miss him every day.

Notsuredomus

Shila (Black Labrador retriever)

10 Aug

Shila (Black Labrador Retriever)

This blog is dedicated in loving memory of my familiar spirits. These Animal Angels have been my best friends, my protectors, my teachers, my dogs, my heart.  Teaching me the values & ethics no people ever had (save my grandmother). They taught me to know love, loyalty, devotion, courage and heart.  To know them with out limits and to have them with out condition. I would not be the person that I am today had not been blessed with those tremendous spirits.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel you by my side

and you will always SHINE INSIDE!

Shila was a black lab that my mom had rescued in the San Bernardino Mountains. Shila was living with her in Redondo Beach. When I would come to visit she always heard me first and would run to the door letting out a chorus of whimpers and happy sounds. She was a mountain dog and since her and I were so close I asked if I could take her with me back to the mountains. For the next several years her and I were inseparable. She loved all the same things I loved and for the most part took care of herself. She was very smart and a good problem solver. When hiking in groups she always ran between the lead person and the last person making sure nobody got lost. She defended me and my friends on several occasions from other dogs and a sheriff or two. Her and I had the perfect symbiotic relationship. I lost her at 9yrs of age to chronic congenital kidney failure. I think of her often while hiking in the woods and backpacking, an activity we both loved and shared together. It has been nearly 2 decades since I lost Shila and I still miss her everyday.

Notsuredomus

Puppy (Poodle)

10 Aug

No Photo of Puppy Survives!

This blog is dedicated in loving memory of my familiar spirits. These Animal Angels have been my best friends, my protectors, my teachers, my dogs, my heart.  Teaching me the values & ethics no people ever had (save my grandmother). They taught me to know love, loyalty, devotion, courage and heart.  To know them with out limits and to have them with out condition. I would not be the person that I am today had not been blessed with those tremendous spirits.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel you by my side

and you will always SHINE INSIDE!

Puppy was a poodle we had when I was just a boy. The same one Shauna pulled out of the fish pond and rescued from the German shepherd. Puppy on top of loving to play fetch had the strongest maternal instinct I have ever known. When there was a baby around (no matter what species) Puppy saw it as his job to protect them and when the mom would leave the infant/litter puppy would get up and lay down with them. Trying to nurse litters of kittens, puppies, birds even the young of the wild pets we called night animals which consisted of a family of skunk, raccoon and possum. He even helped birth 2 litters of kittens and raised a 3rd litter abandoned by the natural mom. So when I think of mothers I will always think of the little male poodle as the best mom ever.

Notsuredomus

Shauna

10 Aug

Shauna (Mountain Afghan Hound)

This blog is dedicated in loving memory of my familiar spirits. These Animal Angels have been my best friends, my protectors, my teachers, my dogs, my heart.  Teaching me the values & ethics no people ever had (save my grandmother). They taught me to know love, loyalty, devotion, courage and heart.  To know them with out limits and to have them with out condition. I would not be the person that I am today had not been blessed with those tremendous spirits.

When I close my eyes, I can still feel you by my side

and you will always SHINE INSIDE!

Shauna was a Mountain Afghan Hound. She was one of our many animals we had when I was growing up. Shauna was the first dog that had ever chosen me to be loyal to above my parents (who primarily fed them). When she had pups only me and my little brother could get near them. She was very protective of our family both 2 and 4 legged. She defended our poodle (puppy) from the neighbors German Shepherd, sending him fleeing. This wasn’t the first time she had saved puppy. When he was just a pup 6-12wks old we were all sitting in the kitchen when Shauna came running by opened the sliding glass door and quickly ran towards the fish pond Shauna jumped into the water and pulled puppy from the water who could not get out himself. Shauna was a good girl with a kind heart and she was a good friend. She was the first dog that I called my own.

by: Notsuredomus

Notsuredomus